Endings and Beginnings

Today is the last day of summer for me, so I decided that an ending day would also be a great beginning day for a new blog that I've been considering.  I have no idea if anyone but me, myself, and I will read my musings, but I feel led to do this, even if just as a creative and expressive outlet.  Many who know me - especially the hundreds of students I've taught since 1995! - will know that "blue apples" are metaphors for risks . . . to "bite a blue apple" means to try something new or get out of your comfort zone.  While I have had a family blog before, this is truly a blue apple moment for me as I try my hand at "real" writing for public view. 

Entering my eighteenth year as a public school teacher, I always have mixed feelings at this time of year.  Summer is such a sweet, laid-back time for me and my family, yet it is hard to deny the adrenaline rush and excitement I always feel as the first day of school draws close.  Truly bittersweet.  This year I will also be moving my oldest to college, which adds a whole other dimension to my emotions . . . she is SO excited, so mostly I am going with that feeling as well, but there have also been many misty-eyed moments since May when she graduated from high school.

God has been gracious to grant me a peace about working outside the home and a love for my job - and I am so incredibly grateful for His provision in that.  Part of my reason for starting this blog, though, is that I have found in the "blogosphere" that there are an immense (and I do mean HUGE) number of blogs and web sites to support SAHMs, especially those who homeschool, but not very many out there for Christian moms who work outside the home (CMWWOTH . . . haha, not a very good acronym . . . gotta come up with something new . . .!).  I believe that there has been too much division in the church because of this issue and I have to admit that makes me somewhat sad.  I have many SAHM friends, including one of my own wonderful sisters, who homeschools her five children, ages 1-11. She is amazing and I love her and fully support her decision and love to hear her stories about how she does what she does every day, which I believe is miraculous!  However, I also know and love many wonderful mothers who work outside the home - either out of necessity or choice.  These women love Jesus, their children, and their husbands (those who are married).  They really do!

I am not exactly sure where this blog will take me or anyone who cares to read it, but I hope that somewhere along the way I'm able to encourage someone and perhaps help build some bridges over what sometimes seems like a huge chasm between SAHMs and working moms.  We are all moms who work!  We all want to deepen and strengthen our walk with the Lord and to minister to our families! There are certainly many Christians who do not (outwardly, at least) criticize working moms and SO many of my friends have supported, encouraged, and offered logistical help to me over the years, so I do not at all mean this to sound like I'm some sort of victim!  However, I have found myself nursing a few wounds - sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes inflicted by well-meaning "others" - over the last eighteen years . . . wounds I never believe God intended me to have, and I want to rip off the bandages and show the scars.  They are faded and are part of the fabric of my life and I have faith that God can use each and every scar we bear for His glory and fame and this is my prayer today, the last day of summer.