Yep, story of my life . . . I'm running late! I did wake up before my alarm this morning, but I've piddled around (and am moving slow), so I'm about half an hour later than I wanted to be sitting down to write this "first day" post. So it's gonna be short, because I've got kids to wake up and wrangle.
Last week - full of professional development workshops, meetings, and workdays - I found myself succumbing to a fierce level of discouragment, negativity, and selfishness. I didn't want to be at school; I was griping and complaining about little things (really, THAT'S the best parking place I get after 17 years?!?); and although it was great to see my teacher friends, I could not even find a peace about celebrating where I was and who I was with. Over the weekend, I had an all-day board meeting for Destination Imagination which meant I missed all three of the soccer games played by my three younger children (including watching them score a total of five goals!), then a birthday party for my youngest, church, and a 6-hour stint of working in my classroom yesterday to finish getting things ready. So, no down time; no "me" time.
Whew. If I had time, I'd be getting really stressed out - ha! Seriously, I am not going to lie and say that all of a sudden, I had an overnight transformation to Pollyanna and now I am SO happy to be up before 6 AM getting ready for school and facing another school year. I am excited and a little nervous, but honestly I'm still battling some discouragement. I feel like my hard work for 17 years is not recognized or appreciated. I am already tired thinking about 60-hour work weeks. Like one of my new (although I've taught with her before, this is her first year at Bob Jones) colleagues said last week when she introduced herself and listed all the jobs she had prior to teaching, "Teaching is the most family un-friendly job I've ever had." And it's true. If you give your students what they need and keep up with the tasks the administration expects you to, there is no way you can work just a 40-hour week. Summers are wonderful, and having these last weeks off is truly the only way I could have made it 17 years!
So, I'm praying hard this morning, looking to the Word for strength, and trying to look up and around rather than inside. Sometimes it's not just "one day at a time," it's one minute, one hour at a time. I barely have my syllabus written, much less lesson plans. I'm teaching a new, challenging AP class that I'm honestly terrified about, even though I know I will love it. Basically, I'm at the end of me even here at the beginning, and I'm thankful because that is a good place to be. Now, it's off to school . . . !!
No comments:
Post a Comment